Sunday, February 6, 2011
A Practical Examination of the Superhero
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Artistic Movement
You are in a very expensive lounge but you are not enjoying yourself. You have just taken a gigantic dump in their very nice bathroom only to find the toilet completely nonfunctional. You are waiting in misery for someone to discover what you have left behind. You finally see a tall european man stalking out of the bathroom towards the center of the lounge. He stands on the table and proceeds to make the following announcement, " Hello, my name is Andres Guitiea . If you have not heard of me, google me and you will find that I am one of the most famous and wealthy artists of the 21st century. I am looking for the person who just pooped in the bathroom. I have been using bowel movements in my art for two decades and never have I seen such a masterpiece of fecal matter. I will pay ten thousand for the bowel movement. I will also pay for additional movements. Please come forward my caca muse." Immediately someone else comes forward claiming your poop as their own. Do you take issue?
Enchanted Heiney Troll
You've been given bad news. You have a disease that is completely incurable and absolutely fatal. the interior of your stomach lining is attacking everything that isn't stomach. The pain is indescribable and you've begun to beg for death. Unfortunately you are in a catholic hospital and they will not perform euthanasia; they do not believe in it. What they do they do believe in is enchanted heiney trolls; one of which is brought to your bed. This sixteen and a half inch disgusting, bald, bearded troll is sitting on your bed with one hand on your stomach. Smiling, he says, "I can save you and you can live a normal life… as long as I can live in your asshole. I will be a part of every time you go to the bathroom. You have five minutes to decide, as there is also a patient next door who is desperately in need of my service and in ten minutes you'll die. We'd be like room mates… in your ass." How do you reply?