Feral Children

Hey kids! Ever wonder what it would be like if instead of being raised by parents you were raised by wolves? Or babysat by bears? Well, wonder no more because it's actually happened! Often disregarded as folklore or urban legend, the existence of feral children rarely makes news headlines or the history books, but it happens!

Children who were for one tragic reason or another abandoned by their parents have been taken in by wild animals for centuries. So all you Marc-keteers out there with children of your own, remember: if you need a night out and there's no one around to watch the kids, just call upon your local pack of dogs. If there happens to be a breast feeding bitch* in the group, you don't even have to worry about dinner! The legend of Romulus and Remus is one of the more famous stories surrounding the subject.

"Roman legend has it that Romulus and Remus, twin sons of Rhea Silvia and Mars, were raised by wolves. Rhea Silvia was a priestess, and when it was found that she had been pregnant and had had children, the local King Amulius ordered her to be buried alive and for the children to be killed. The servant who was given the order set them in a basket on the Tiber riverinstead and the children were taken by Tiberinus, the river god, to the shore where a she-wolf found them and raised them until they were discovered as toddlers by a shepherd named Faustulus. He and his wife Acca Larentia, who had always wanted a child but never had one, raised the twins, who would later figure prominently in the events leading up to the founding of Rome (named after Romulus, who eventually killed Remus in a fight over whether the city should be founded on the Palatine Hill or the Aventine Hill)." - Wikipedia, feral children

The moral of this story is if someone leaves the front door open or the toilet seat up, don't accuse them of being raised by wolves; because if they were, they'll likely become successful founders of one of the world's greatest democracies and savagely kill you.

And guess what Marc-keteers? Feral children are still found every year. If you're interested in learning more about feral children like the Syrian Gazelle Boy or John Ssebunya the Ugandan Monkey Boy go to feralchildren.com to check out all the other wild, crazy kids out there. Pretty cool huh?

* bitch

- noun

1. a female dog

2. a female of canines generally

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If you are offended, please write to us under the subject line "breast feeding bitch".