I've decided that I'm uncomfortable with the 30% of my life I spend in a coma. That's right, I'm talking about sleep.
But I've found the solution. It's this girl.
I just imagine waking up in a cold sweat and seeing her at the foot of my bed eating that hamburger.
Or perhaps she'd be squatting in a dark corner of my room, perched on a greasy mound of half eaten hamburgers and discarded fountain sodas; anxiously waiting to be discovered.
Maybe I wake up in the middle of the night to get a glass of ice water from the kitchen. I find a glass on one side of the kitchen and move to the fridge for the water; I turn around again to retrieve my glass and there she is, all of a sudden chewing and sucking off her cheap fuchsia nail polish as she spider walks across my counter.