I use baby wipes. I'll tell you why.
If you accidentally touched some errant feces with your hand, would you just wipe it up with a dry paper towel? Or would you take some time to find a sink, get some soap, and really try your best to sanitize and clean the aforementioned hand.
That's what I thought.
A dry wipe does not a clean butt make.
So clean up your act America! It's not just me who's fed up with people's low standards of toilet paper either. When actor/celebrity Terrence Howard is looking for romance, bathroom hygiene is among his chief concerns.
"Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."
Worried people are going to think your choice in TP is a bit too juvenile? Well stop crying you big baby, THE FINAL WIPE has got you covered:
Well, there you go Marc-keteers! The straight poop on wet wipes from the experts who know. Any questions or comments on today's blog? Be sure to send an e-mail with the subject line, "unclean thoughts".
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Our headline today is both informative and a double entendre because we're also talking about wiping our ass.